Examine What Shapes Your Behavior Part 3 of 3

Anything that shapes one’s thinking or behavior is a conditioning influence. A conditioning influence may originate either internally or externally. The three most common conditioning influences are the family, the social environment and personal attitudes toward mistakes and failure.

In this series we looked at the influences of Family and Social.

Mistakes

There is a third conditioning influence to which all people are subjected – that of their own experiences. Because we are not born with a knowledge of the world, it is natural that in the learning process we make mistakes and experience failures. Learning proceeds by trying, failing, adjusting and then trying again. Children learn to walk and talk that way. It is nature’s way.

But the needs for both social acceptance and self-respect cause mistakes to be embarrassing. Failure can be shattering, particularly if early environment placed stress on perfection. A parent, a teacher, or even the boss in an early job who places extreme emphasis on the gravity of mistakes may cause leadership development to be restricted. We freeze up for fear of making another mistake. The fear of failure breeds timidity and causes hesitation to accept a challenge.

Failure itself is unimportant; your attitude toward it is crucial, for it can strengthen or destroy you. If you regard each mistake as a setback in your quest for achievement, that is exactly what it will become. When you look at mistakes as signposts to guide you in the adjustment phase of the learning process, failures strengthen you. Thrust a defiant chin at  failure instead of turning a trembling back. No one enjoys making mistakes or suffering defeat. But mistakes mark human progress. You can accept a mistake as a failure, or as a lesson in progress. You can accept it as a challenge or as a  chastisement. There is more to be feared in not making mistakes than in making them.

To develop a healthy attitude toward mistakes and failure, see them as opportunities to develop your personal leadership skills.

LMI Journal 2012