Actively Listening
Effective listening is active, not passive. Listening demands conscious activity and concentration; it is more than maintaining a polite silence while mentally rehearsing what to say at the speaker’s next breath or silently searching for flaws in the speaker’s ideas that you can attack. Like any important skill, effective listening requires adequate preparation, careful execution, and continual monitoring. This means that preparation for good listening begins with adopting certain attitudes that support effective listening.
One of the basic attitudes for listening is readiness to learn or understand. Closely allied is willingness to learn from a particular source. Those who believe they already know everything of importance are functionally unable to listen.
A second important attitude for listening is belief in the value of others as individuals and in the possibility that they have ideas and information worth hearing. This attitude is expressed through empathy – the ability to communicate that you value other people even when you do not necessarily agree with or condone their attitudes and actions. Empathy is the ability to understand what people feel, to acknowledge their right to feel it, and to communicate for win-win solutions even though you differ.
Listening also is being alert not only to the actual words spoken, but also to what is not being said. Listening is being acutely aware of the attitudes of others, their viewpoints, their body language, and their emotional states.
Fortunately, listening is a skill that can be learned. Listening opens the gateway to personal and professional success through the vast dividends it pays. Listening:
• Keeps communication channels open
• Provides opportunities for learning
• Enhances relationships
• Increases productivity by saving time and effort
• Reduces friction, misunderstandings, and conflicts
• Alerts you to opportunities
• Enlists the support and favorable responses of others
• Enables you to reach professional and personal goals you have set
• Develops insight into people’s needs and desires so you can communicate better.
Everybody wants to be appreciated, and listening is one of the highest forms of appreciation anyone can how another person. Listening and trying to understand the other person’s point of view develops rapport and trust. When people feel appreciated, when they sense an attitude of respect, and when they know that others are trying to understand their situation and how they view it, then they tend to reflect these same attitudes of appreciation and respect. This, in turn, fosters mutual understanding and cooperation, both essential for reaching professional and business goals.
LMI Journal 2012
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